“Awkward” Silence.
Ya know, I have to say, I’ve been thinking about how our world is experiencing a shortage of silence. That’s an ironic statement because silence is not really its own thing but rather a lack of a thing, just as darkness is a lack of light rather than an active property. Silence is a lack of noise. Our world is actively creating noise to fill silence with. Are we doing this intentionally, or is it just a natural consequence of advancing our world technologically? The answer to that question is complicated, but I believe the term “awkward silence” has something to do with it. I dare you to talk to someone and truly listen to their words. On a personal note, I struggle with this exact thing, because it requires me to not be thinking about the next thing to say. If I don’t have a reply on queue within three floating seconds then things can feel inexplicably uncomfortable. But why is extended silence, blank space, even a little meditation on words so seemingly scary? When did silence become awkward, and why is it typically considered bad rather than valuable?
Here’s what I have come to believe about this topic. Silence is not advertised as valuable, as it is not particularly marketable. In our present world, if a thing can’t be monetized then it becomes useless, awkward, bad. There is hardly any technology trying to take away distraction, and technology is inevitably leading to more distraction and noise. There are a million things to learn, talk about, look at, and listen to. We are championed in saying and doing all we can, although Proverbs tell us that the wise are of few words and the wicked are restless. And there is hardly anything to wait for anymore. Waiting, blank space, and quiet — these are things considered inconvenient byproducts of old technology. However, silence has great value for us. It is a gift to sit and think, deeply listen and consider, and meditatively rest.
We’ve fallen in love with space-fillers and background noise. Sometimes we need to reckon with ourselves and our reality, not distract ourselves from it. We have become addicted to superficial stimuli, swirling about us like a blizzard, demanding our time, energy, attention, and resources. These things are being monetized nowadays for outside financial gain, so much so that we hardly feel the endless prod and pull or see its negative effects. It seems like monetary gain has made silence and space lesser in importance compared to noise and various stimuli. We are overwhelmed. We can hardly have natural conversations, because we have to depend on the timing of something else and submit to natural processes. It’s not marketable. Submit to “awkward silence” between replies and you might reach something real and worthwhile. However, that’s not easy, quick, or convenient. But truthfully, we do crave what’s natural; we crave silence. It’s why aesthetic minimalism is the popular style in interior design and fashion these days, because we gotta have some space on an overstimulated planet. We are overwhelmed, overstimulated, overcrowded, and tired. It’s also why nature is trendy. We crave the quiet, and real, the spacious.
Now that we’re looking at the bones of it, I think that silence first appears to us as boring. We hate being bored and throw our money at anything that eliminates boredom. But beyond boredom, silence confronts us with a reality we don’t want to be confronted with. In extended silence, we are confronted most immediately with our inner selves and our lives, and then the world around us. Silence promotes the existential questions we wait too long to consider. Furthermore, allowing silence requires submission — a form of humility. We submit ourselves to the natural order of things; we listen to the wind talk, hear the chatter of the river, and thus let God speak first. We don’t try to fill a void where the peace of God might be just because we fear that His mystery is also there. We find that God usually whispers when He speaks, and we can hear it when we clear the clutter of our minds. We befriend and converse with the mystery of existence. It is extremely humbling to be silent because we choose to let ourselves be influenced. I think we need silence — I strongly believe that. And it’s become a discipline these days. We ought to face the awkwardness, boredom, fear, and quiet. It might just be the answer to many of our current problems.